Friday 12 March 2010

Friday Zombie Blogging - The Pitch

You know what zombie movie I'd totally see? Zombies on a cruise liner. All those rich toffs getting turned into delicious undead pate while the captain sits up on the bridge in the foetal position trying to ignore the incessant banging and screaming from the decks below. Cue the plucky machine-room mechanic who rises up with a band of economy-class survivors, pushes all the zombies overboard through ingenious MacGyver-esque devices then gets the girl and plays shuffleboard for the remainder of the journey home. Then goes to jail for mass murder because who ever heard of a whole cruise turning into zombies and being pushed overboard?

Mokalus of Borg

PS - For the sequel: zombies on a submarine. Pretty much the same plot.
PPS - The zombies got to the ocean floor when some git on a cruise liner pushed them overboard without cutting them into pieces first.

8 comments:

Erin Marie said...

Best. Movie. Ever.

Erin Marie said...

Also, the sequel's name is 'Zombarine'.

I'm still working on the first one.

John said...

I like that title. And how about in the second movie we have the mechanic brought out of prison and sent down to the sub because he's the only one they know can fight them. Also, he's a prisoner on death row, so it's pretty much win-win: if he beats them, no more zombies plus a recovered sub; if he loses, well, he was going to be executed anyway.

Erin Marie said...

I like it. Kind of like the Salem witch trials.

Of course, it should be a story of redemption where he wins and is able to be vindicated that his previous 'ravings of a crazy loon' were, in fact, true and accurate representations of what had occurred.

John said...

Maybe he should get redemption, or maybe, sticking with the disbelief theme of the first movie ending, they would be forced to bury the whole incident and pretend it never happened. Unfortunately, that leaves the hero with no redeeming evidence and back on death row.

Erin Marie said...

Then the third one is set in the prison where he is on death row.

John said...

Like he got bitten on the sub, then they try to electrocute him on the chair, but then he breaks the restraints, gets up and starts eating brains.

But by then we've kind of lost the momentum of the original story, as three-quels seem to do.

John said...

Oh, I've got the titles for the trilogy:
"Dead in the Water"
"Zombarine"
"Undeath Row"
... and it looks like my NaNoWriMo plans are locked in until 2018.