Big Brother

Some time ago - more than a year now - I auditioned for Big Brother. I expect that I failed for presenting as a compliant introvert who could act. The rest of what I showed them was inconsequential.

I went to the auditions to have a good time. I waited in line for four hours until they let me inside. From then it was a very quick "You lot pretend to be monkeys, you lot pretend to have sex with the floor. Okay, you three come with me. The rest of you can sod off." Not as much fun as I anticipated, but at least I met some interesting single-serving friends.

If I ever went back, it would basically be in protest. I was just being myself last time, and apparently I'm not good enough to be humiliated on national television. I think that should make me feel relieved.

So anyway, next time a Big Brother auditioner asks me to pretend to be a monkey, I'm going to poop in my hand and throw it at them.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I don't anticipate that situation coming up again.
PPS - And I probably won't be watching the next season.