Friday 13 May 2005

Go Directly To Hell

Michael Miller, 47, was arrested today in his Bundaberg home, charged with impersonating God. Police say Miller had been conducting worship services from his garage, suckering faithful locals into believing that he was The Almighty.

"I can't believe it," said one worshipper who wished to remain anonymous. "He seemed like the real deal. There was smoke and bright lights and harp music and everything."

Police were tipped off when one worshipper grew suspicious of Miller's demands for offerings of pretzels and beer. The final clue was a request for a copy of Hustler magazine. "I just knew God wouldn't be into that," said the tipster.

The maximum penalty for deity impersonation is eternal damnation, though the state has never handed down such a sentence. God Himself has made no statement on the incident.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This story is, of course, completely false.
PPS - Fictional news is fun.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm now why would you pick Bundaberg? It's such a lovely, civilized place that is never in the news for anything weird...

You actually had me searching google to see if I knew the guy before I kept reading down the page. :p

- Bachelor Brant

John said...

The town choice was random, I swear! Though, of course, you could have left some kind of post-hypnotic suggestion behind the last time I saw you...