Reintroducing the human factor

It was not too long ago that most bus tickets were disposable magnetic strip cards, read by the appropriate hardware. The various rules about expiry dates and valid times were enforced automatically by The Machines, issuing their judgements by sequences of beeps.

Now many tickets are just receipts, printed in the same way as everything else. It takes a little longer to get on the bus, but now we have some human fallibility back in the system. If you catch a driver early enough in the day, it's sometimes possible to pass off an expired ticket, walking confidently onto the bus as the driver blearily waves you by. This is the kind of system that can allow real experimentation.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I have personally managed to get on a bus with an expired ticket.
PPS - I have yet to try a shopping docket or Subway serviette.

Steppin'

In a few months, I'm going to have to get used to terms like "step-mother", "step-sister" and "step-brother". How far exactly does the step-relative terminology extend? Am I gaining a step-grandmother? When my step-sister has children with my step-brother-in-law, do I get step-neices and step-nephews? Are the children of my step-mother-to-be's brother my step-cousins? These are among the many questions I'll need to answer.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - For those who tuned in late, my father is re-marrying later this year.
PPS - Um ... that is all.

The Sunday Mok - "Hold this so he doesn't run away"

Last Sunday was standard as far as Sundays go. Coffee Club instead of bowling after the evening church service. Though I say that, we haven't been bowling in a few weeks now.
On Monday my desk was moved back to its old position, which made the other move completely pointless. I worked on the staff appraisals database and also on tracking down a memory module for the Controls guys.
Tuesday at karate in the evening Mark and Deb had brought some kick pads and a punching bag for a change. I was surprised by the amount of power I could get out of my kicks, because it's just not obvious when you're kicking air.
Wednesday was Towel Day and I missed it. Troubles with the computers at work and home. Queensland won the State of Origin first game, so that (mostly) made up for a missed Towel Day.
On Thursday I spent most of my time on Venture (project management software) and Homer (safety management software). We finally met our new fearless leader, David, whom we had begun to think might not have been real. Dinner at a South-side Thai restaurant with the relatives.
Most of Friday I spent on Homer. The code itself is uncomplicated - what will take up the most time is getting everyone sorted out so they can log in easily. What makes it difficult is what's going to happen in a few months to our office login system, and we have to be ready for that.
I bought an MP3 player on Saturday - a Creative ZEN Micro - and it's pretty cool. I also went to see The Taming of the Shrew at Harvest Rain because the ticket was free and a friend was in the play. Also went to dinner at West End for Adam's birthday.

If you're on the North side of Brisbane and it's not too late to change your plans for tonight, come to The Gap Uniting Church to see Contagious.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - It'll be great.
PPS - Belly-dancing is not my calling.

The Spanish zombie says...

"Brains" is a pretty simple word in English. I imagine even zombies that are somewhat lacking in verbal skill could manage it. If a zombie spoke another language in life, however, things could easily get more complicated. "Cerebros" and "cervelli" - Spanish and Italian respectively - are considerably more complicated. The German "gehirne" has to be my favourite so far, and this morning I discovered the Welsh word "ymenyddiau". I can't really imagine being stalked by a pack of zombies in Wales all saying crying out for my "ymenyddiau". It just doesn't fit.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Besides which, I probably wouldn't recognise the word at the time.
PPS - I couldn't find a Klingon word for brains.

Happy (Belated) Towel Day!

I missed Towel Day again - the memorial day for Douglas Adams, celebrated by fans who carry their towels around all day in memory of our favourite author. I've missed every one since 2001 when Mr Adams died, and not on purpose - that would just be mean, and I am rarely (deliberately) mean. This year I even set a reminder on my phone so I couldn't possibly forget. Every now and then something that can't possibly go wrong does go wrong. The reminder slipped and I trotted off to work as if yesterday was a day just like any other.

Then again, anyone who's seen it will know that I have a towel that I carry in my work bag every single day, inspired by the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so in a way, I didn't miss Towel Day at all. I'd just rather have remembered properly.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - On an unrelated note, it's a good day to be a Queenslander.
PPS - I also forgot to wear my maroon shirt yesterday.

Today's post is brought to you by...

Suspicious Fires Incorporated. Have you recently purchased a block of land for development, then found that the existing building on the site is heritage-listed and can't be legally torn down? You need Suspicious Fires Incorporated. Our "operatives" will show up one night and burn the place to the ground for a nominal fee. Specify "no accelerants"[1] to avoid the phrase "police are treating the blaze as suspicious" in news reports.

[1] The "no accelerants" service is available at our inspector's discretion. A surcharge applies.

This post is satire. Suspicious Fires Incorporated is another of my little jokes. A few times over the years, this exact thing has happened to buildings in Brisbane, and it's got to be more than a coincidence. Mere days after a land developer discovers the heritage status of an existing structure, the thing "mysteriously" burns to ashes. It's only logical to assume a shady organisation is behind it.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The joke, of course, is that these people could not incorporate.
PPS - And they probably wouldn't get much business with this name anyway.

Take a penny, leave a penny

Following the suggestion from yesterday, I have placed a single 5c coin in the "free money" container. It would hardly be worth anyone's time to take it, so I predict it will remain for the whole day.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - If it lasts a week, I'll add to it.
PPS - This could, however, turn into an expensive experiment very quickly.

Is this funny?

I have an odd sense of humour. Every now and then I'm the only one laughing. Recently I put a small plastic container on top of a nearby bookshelf at work and wrote on it: "FREE MONEY! Please take some". It started empty and, of course, is still empty. Is that funny? Sometimes I can't tell.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I was partly inspired by people who steal from charity.
PPS - It has not yet raised a comment.

The Sunday Mok - 22 May 2005

Last Sunday I watched TV, slept and finished my Bible study work for the week. I went to the Ashgrove evening church service rather than the combined Pentecost service, partly to promote the service being put on by new band Contagious, now one week away.
Most of Monday at work was unproductive: I had to install some new software, which took all morning, then I had training in the afternoon. Bible study in the evening and more TV.
Tuesday at work I went to a presentation about computer-simulated physics for engineering applications. A sandwich lunch was provided, and I ate probably three times as much as I would usually eat for lunch, then nodded off during the presentation. For this reason, I think it would be better to serve the lunch after presentations.
Wednesday's big event was, obviously, the Revenge of the Sith midnight screening. The robe of my costume was only finished (by Bridgit - thankyou!) after we got inside the cinema. Most people were upset by the number of trailers and ads played before the movie. I got home around 3am.
I slept in until 09:00 on Thursday, went through the usual morning routine and missed the bus by one minute. In the afternoon, when I got to the bus stop, a hailstorm started, but let up by the time I got home, so I didn't need an umbrella at all.
Friday Dad announced he's re-marrying. He told us by saying "You might like to know: [Beth] and I picked up an engagement ring tonight. So ... I guess we're officially engaged." He's a funny one sometimes. We took the youth group kids to play pool at QMasters. Matt is an absolute star at that game.
I went for a run on Saturday morning with my 1kg weights and just kept to a maintainable pace. I watched Starship Troopers 2, which is basically a sci-fi slasher flick. Went to Miv's for dinner and saw Star Wars again with him, Julia, Rory, Julie, Rich, Lyd and Adam.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I only picked up a couple of things in the second screening that I missed in the first.
PPS - I found I kept focusing on the costumes most of the time.

I've just been playing with Picasa, so now I give you: Holiday snaps from Paragon City.

Musical desks

Yesterday my desk was moved about five metres across an aisle. Now it's going to be moved back because of an oversight. The whole story goes that half of the ground floor downstairs is being refitted at the moment, so those sitting there have moved into other positions around the office. Those that are supposed to move in right beside us are from upstairs where they have perfectly good spots. I don't know where this edict has issued from.
I'm not certain all of this will work out fine, because the end plan seems to involve two occupied desks magically disappearing. One is ours and is loaded with servers, PCs and test equipment. The current word is "find some place for it".

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Perhaps we can get it upstairs where these new people are moving from.
PPS - I'm worried by how much time our management is personally spending on this.

I want a lizard like that

I caught a midnight screening of Revenge of the Sith last night, and was suitably impressed. There was still that undefinable something missing, however. The lightsabre duels were excellent - I'm really glad George doesn't use slow motion in Star Wars movies. The Trade Federation accents were further toned down to something quite cartoonish and stupid. Some parts dragged (cityscape panoramas, for instance) and others felt like they deserved more treatment.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Overall it was a positive experience.
PPS - It's just too bad you already know who's going to survive.

Horrifying thought

I just thought of something: I finished a conversation with Stu about going in costume to Star Wars tonight, completely forgetting that my only transport is by bus, followed by a five or ten minute walk. It's fine to be in costume when you get where you're going, but the trip there is a killer.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Semi-relevant "travelling in costume" comic strip.
PPS - I may need my extra-large coat.

You must be patient, young padawan

I had hoped to grow enough hair by now to wear a Jedi training braid (behind the right ear) to the Star Wars premiere tonight. Unfortunately, an attempt to do so would only result in an invisible strand that's hardly worth the effort.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I also never completed my lightsabre and Jedi robe.
PPS - If by "completed" I mean "started".

The Petition to Get Mokalus to Shut Up About Big Brother Altready

Just in case you're sick of it already, or feel you're likely to get sick of it sometime in the future, I thought I'd provide an opportunity for you to voice your dissent at the amount of Big Brother talk on this site.

"We the undersigned, etc, blah blah, shut the hell up about BB." Just leave a comment to force me to find other things to write about.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I promise I won't start watching Survivor.
PPS - Though that would hardly last long now.

When Twins Attack

It seems my prediction about the BB Logan twin switch was off by a few days - the twins have been discovered. It makes sense, though. The fake tattoo started to fade, as did the fake tan, and the whole situation was definitely not helped by Logan (David) going through one of the glass mirrors and injuring himself. Glenn, who spent the most time with Logan, was the first to notice.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Gianna is likely to be the most affected by the news.
PPS - She and Logan (David) were getting cosy.

Malicious Mouse

I think the moment from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie that will stay with me the longest is the sight of a tiny mouse yelling "TAKE HIS BRAIN!". Yeah, the more I think about it, the more likely it is that it will fulfil my nightmare quota for a few years.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Though last night I dreamed about a road trip in vans.
PPS - We pulled over to fill up and spilled petrol everywhere.

The Sunday Mok - An Unhealthy Obsession

Big Brother is already taking over my life. This is not so good.
Last Sunday I had a busy day - two church services, lunch with friends, bowling and the BB launch. I didn't watch all of the launch, because of the video/audio sync problems I was having. I was up until 00:30, though...
...so on Monday I was tired. I made a release of A+ for HR and had to mess around with the database connection a bit, and watched BB at night. To keep things simple, just assume that I'm watching BB every night.
On Tuesday I was back to working on Venture. I should really put up a screenshot or something so everyone knows more what I'm talking about. We sparred again at karate, and I felt like I got back into the groove of it - a proper guard and relaxed, waiting to move faster than my opponent.
Though I spent Wednesday bug-hunting in the Venture code, I felt it was a bit pointless, since we're working on a new interface that will probably make lots of the previous work obsolete.
On Thursday I was still sore from the workout at karate on Tuesday, which is something that doesn't happen often there. I played my first City of Heroes PvP Arena match, and got thoroughly whooped, since I was a level 14 character fighting against a level 25. Besides practice, there seems to be little incentive to do that again.
On Friday, after installing some (apparently) dodgy TV software, I had to use Windows System Restore to get my sound working again, just in time to record BB for the night. At youth group, we played dodgeball (among other things) but had only deflated basketballs to use.
Saturday I went and bought four "practice volleyballs" that are so soft you'd have trouble breaking eggs with them. These will be used instead of basketballs for dodgeball matches in future. I also went out with Miv, Julia, Kym, Lydia, Rich and Adam and met Tania and Tara. Just missing the last bus home meant approximately 45 minutes in a taxi queue. I hardly noticed.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - That bus was at 00:20.
PPS - We need more, especially on Fridays and Saturdays.

Go Directly To Hell

Michael Miller, 47, was arrested today in his Bundaberg home, charged with impersonating God. Police say Miller had been conducting worship services from his garage, suckering faithful locals into believing that he was The Almighty.

"I can't believe it," said one worshipper who wished to remain anonymous. "He seemed like the real deal. There was smoke and bright lights and harp music and everything."

Police were tipped off when one worshipper grew suspicious of Miller's demands for offerings of pretzels and beer. The final clue was a request for a copy of Hustler magazine. "I just knew God wouldn't be into that," said the tipster.

The maximum penalty for deity impersonation is eternal damnation, though the state has never handed down such a sentence. God Himself has made no statement on the incident.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This story is, of course, completely false.
PPS - Fictional news is fun.

Imagine a post here

This morning's post has been eaten by the Blogger Beast. The text is gone and only its ragged flesh on a skeleton remains. You'll just have to entertain yourselves today.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - It was about my TV card software.
PPS - I guess it wasn't that interesting.