Anthropological Studies

It has become customary recently for The Boys to go bowling after church on Sunday night. I've mentioned this before. Over the past couple of weeks, however, we've been joined by girls. Erin insists on treating it like an anthropological expedition, and has been emailing her "findings" around to the group the following day. She attributes us with simian qualities, negates any possible higher-brain functions, etc. It's quite good, very amusing, but at the same time somewhat insulting, so I put together this rebuttal and sent it around to all the same people:

The anthropological studies thus far undertaken by the below quoted researcher have been interesting, if somewhat misguided. She appears to be under the impression that her observations are objective and aloof. Her research assistant has proven incapable of observing without interfering in the bonding activities, though this is most likely due to the presence of her mate.

The researcher appeared to be attempting to blend in to her surroundings, participating in the bowling games with a style best described as "static". Clearly the game was a stressful situation, and engaging the males on their own territory put her on edge. While she managed admirably, it is probably for the best that she is unaware of the danger she placed herself in. If she had panicked at an inopportune time, the pack, smelling fear, could have attacked.

The researcher seems also to be unaware of the most basic elements of pack behaviour, offering not a single "high-five" during the entire course of the night. Butt-slapping was also noticeably absent though, once again, this is probably for the best. A poorly-executed butt-slap can result in the untimely and violent removal of a limb.

The researcher (and assistant plus mate) will be kept under observation, blissfully unaware of their participation in an intricate and ingenious social experiment, the extent of which could only be dimly perceived by them.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This rebuttal followed the first week of Erin's actual participation.
PPS - She has not yet made a full reply.