Thursday, 4 October 2007

Computing in Heaven

In Heaven, you never run out of hard disk space. In Heaven, your computer never needs rebooting. Everything is flawless Plug and Play. Instant messaging works on one universal protocol, and it never kicks you off. You log in only once to your PC and are then recognised on every website. That's only for personalisation, not security. There is no spam, ever. Downloads take only as long as you feel like they should, never longer, but also never so quickly that you blink and miss it. Sharing files to cooperate with someone else never means emailing versions back and forth. Scanning and printing are done from the same box that holds your hard drive and everything else. There are no power cords and no signal cables.

Playing movies from your computer on your TV is as simple as asking or using the remote - no cables or translator boxes. Your portable media player can carry your whole music and video collection no matter where you are, and never needs to recharge. It can also access your collection at home. Your camera (video or still) can upload immediately to the Internet, so it never runs out of space (or batteries). It can share storage with your home PC.

Your hardware never wears out or becomes obsolete. You can modify it yourself with only the knowledge of what you want to do. You can write new software as easily as playing with Lego. Using data from one program in another is a breeze, and if two programs need to work together, they just do. If you don't feel like reading all the news today, your computer can summarise it for you, rephrasing and picking out the important points seamlessly.

The Internet is free and without advertising. The wireless Internet connects everywhere with equal strength. It's never crowded or bogged down. You can search online with the vaguest of queries and expect perfect results. "I'm feeling lucky" is the only button on Google you ever need.

Phone calls are free, but if you prefer to receive email, your voice messages can be dictated. You can email a telephone to leave a voice message, read out in your own voice. You can conference in real time between telephones and instant messaging programs. SMS, email, pagers and IM are all one seamless communications protocol, with a bridge to live or asynchronous voice as needed. You can receive email in your physical postbox if you prefer, and send it the same way. All communication is instantly and flawlessly translated to your native language.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Now, which bits can we do today?
PPS - Some, I admit, are unrealistic in this world.


Pstonie said...

Yeah, but can you make s'mores literally anywhere in heaven? I think not.

John said...

Touché, I think.