They're my favourites

My current favourite three Green Day songs, in no particular order:

Misery from Warning
I like the odd beat. Somehow it just grabbed me from the get-go.
Minority also from Warning
Probably the first thing that drew me to this song was the video, with the gothic cheerleaders. Also some brilliant lyrics. There's so much being said in "blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts". I just love it.
St. Jimmy from American Idiot
All energy and talking rubbish. Spectacular.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I'm not sure I've heard all of Warning on rotation in my MP3 player yet.
PPS - Probably not.

The Sunday Mok - Flame On

Last Sunday we stayed for lunch after church and I spoke to a few people on such a superficial level that I have to conclude that I have only acquaintances there, not friends. Sleep in the afternoon, then the second Contagious-led service in the evening.
On Monday, I was supposed to run some tests on Homer, our safety management software, but I ran into some problems that took a while to fix. I had to send the test participants away for a while. It didn't look good or instill confidence.
Tuesday was my family birthday dinner, and we had planned to go to a Chinese restaurant I noticed at Arana Hills, but they're closed on Tuesdays. We went across the street to a deserted Chinese place instead, which was quite nice.
By Wednesday I had finished off Homer to my satisfaction and just amused myself for the afternoon on projects semi-related to work. FISH in the evening was, I believe, the first actual study meeting of that group that I've been to.
Thursday at work was mostly taken up with a long presentation from industrial network and computer equipment manufacturer Honeywell. I'm not linking to their website because it tried to open a pop-up. I had dinner with Sam, Mia and Debbie, then a youth group meeting, all before I got home from work, so it felt like a really long day.
Friday we saw Fantastic Four. It didn't strike me as a brilliant movie at the time, just good. I think my issue is that only The Thing had any character development to speak of.
On Saturday I went to the office to fix a server. I'm glad to have it done now, especially since it was my fault it went funny in the first place. Sleep in the afternoon, then Kym's 24th in the evening. I spent most of the party playing pool or listening to conversations. I had fun.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - After I said goodbye, I had to return for my cooler.
PPS - I really have had a good week.

A trap for young players

No matter what you do, no matter how late it is and how careful you know you'll be, it is always a bad idea to try to read by the glow of your lightsabre.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Just don't say I didn't warn you.
PPS - This has been a Mokalus public service announcement.

Wide aperture, short exposure

Welcome to Jowlers, that place on the net that shows you the kind of funny faces you can only pull for a microsecond. Shake your head really fast and have someone take a picture. Send it in, maybe make people laugh. Your day is exactly as exciting as this.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Link via Apropos of Something.
PPS - I don't know how I feel about this yet. Gimme a few minutes.

Snooze

It's probably because clock radio manufacturers don't want to insult us that the big button is labelled "snooze" rather than "lazy" or "slacker". Of course people wouldn't buy such a product given the choice between that and "snooze", but what if they all said "lazy"? I'm betting it still wouldn't be long before someone decided that they could sell more by telling people that they're not lazy, just snoozing.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - In case you can't tell, I could have used another hour of sleep last night.
PPS - And the previous night. And probably tonight.

The Horrors of Necromancy

Guild Wars, a game which has recently joined Ug the Caveman's rotation, appears to be strange at times. While watching him play last night, I had a conversation that went approximately as follows:
Me: "Those things are kind of ugly."
Ug: "And he makes them into even uglier things."
Me: "At least they die face-down. And now they appear to be walking ribcages."
Ug: "With two tails. I don't know what it is they're firing."
Me: "I think they're vortices of pure pain."
Ug: "I think they're just arrows."

He continues to quest around, raising the skeletons of the dead to do his bidding. Which mostly consists of killing other things to make into skeleton minions. Exactly what this all achieves is perhaps a question best left unanswered.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - There is more about spreading disease, too.
PPS - For those tuning in late, Ug is my brother.

Multiple Choice

The bus drops you off in the middle of an active construction site. There are signs on the footpath warning you to "use other footpath". You:
a) Cross the busy road in peak-hour traffic.
b) Walk outside the traffic cones into oncoming vehicles.
c) Walk through the construction site, potentially getting injured by heavy machinery and being abused by construction workers for ignoring the signs.

I chose (c).

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I suppose I could have stayed on the bus for one more stop.
PPS - That would just have meant a longer walk to the office.

The Sunday Mok - Birthday Week

Last Sunday was the conclusion of my 26th year on your planet. The day itself was an ordinary Sunday: two church services and some sleep. I got to be in a skit in the evening service, playing the "body" half of a "body/brain duo" - action and emotion contrasted with thinking and logic. It was fun.
I spent all of Monday at work on A+, the performance appraisals database in use by our HR manager. It has fairly recently had an import of a few thousand employee records, which made it much harder to use, so I had to set up some sensible defaults for all the selection lists.
By Tuesday I was finished on A+ and started back on Homer, the safety management software. Just bug-hunting, really. I also taught my final karate class in this month-long stint as a substitute instructor.
On Wednesday I automated the tests we ran on Homer last week. Now I can complete in ten seconds by myself what took three people an hour and a half last Thursday. Dinner with the FISH group, and a round of Articulate, where the geeks had to split up onto different teams. We have access to a shared language incomprehensible to the rest, see?
Thursday I started writing documentation and online help for Homer. This is definitely not my favourite thing. It's under-stimulating work, but I know it's got to be done. Had lunch with Brant, Adrian and Brad at Jackpot Noodles, which was cool.
More online help writing on Friday, then youth group in the evening where we planned upcoming fundraising events and played dodgeball. Afterwards I dropped in to Julie & Rory's for Julie's birthday and stayed until about 01:00.
On Saturday, I went shopping, mostly for Erin's present, but I also got a new shirt, a couple of DVDs and a board game called ZOMBIES!!!. The exclamation marks are part of the name, not part of my excitement, though that is considerable. Now all I need are some friends to play it with. Erin's party in the evening where, unfortunately, many people could only stay a little while.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - As far as I know right now, everyone's birthday is in July.
PPS - As near as I can figure, I think that makes us all Hallowe'en conceptions.

Why I can't cut my hair

It's not even as if I like having long hair. It's a pain to take care of, and usually I wake up in the morning and recoil in horror from the beast in the mirror. I wonder if I should cut my hair off. Then I remember the main reason I keep my hair long: people sometimes call me by the name of a friend, "Murrae".

It's an accident. I'll grant that Murrae and I are similar personalities. At times, we even look very slightly alike - except for the glasses, height, eye colour, hair colour, hair length and beard. These last two are what I have control over, so I keep them different to Murrae as much as I can. As long as people keep accidentally calling me Murrae, I keep my hair long and my face relatively clean-shaven. It's not a choice. It's a necessity.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Only a few people claim to like my hair long.
PPS - I am often not one of them.

Force Theology

Most of my Force-derived dichotomies come from the following understanding: there are often two ways to approach a situation, and one will mean big points now at the expense of future potential, while the other will take longer and accumulate far more worth over its lifetime than a quick score can ever provide. A big flame burst versus a long, constant, warming glow. This understanding, plus the patience to carry you through and a safe place to grow and learn are all you need to start down the Light Path, my young Padawan.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - From certain angles, The Force is real.
PPS - But I can't move anything with my mind.

Charming

Making conversation this morning, I asked Jessica:
"Why do you think people hang dreamcatchers from their rear-view mirrors? Do they plan on doing much sleeping at the wheel?"
To which she replied:
"People hang fuzzy dice from their mirrors, too."
"But a dreamcatcher is a charm with a specific purpose."
"Dice have a purpose."
"Not the fuzzy ones."
There we kind of dropped the subject, but I kept wondering what my point was in the first place. If the comparison between fuzzy dice and dreamcatchers is valid, why do I find the first just tacky and the second actually idiotic? The best reason I can come up with is that I don't think these people know what a dreamcatcher is at all. (Actually, I'm probably about as far from the true understanding as they are from mine).

Mokalus of Borg

PS - So the point is that I think I started on a proto-rant without having a clearly articulated argument to make.
PPS - I should have planned ahead.

That's not cool, Microsoft!

MSN Messenger will, by design, open Hotmail and links to MS Spaces in Internet Explorer, but respects the "Default Browser" setting for other links (Default Browser, Mail, Messaging and Java settings were introduced in Windows XP Service Pack 2, and are user-settable).

When it's only called the Default browser, I guess that would be okay, but I specifically un-ticked the box that says "Allow access to this program" beside Internet Explorer. That should mean that my whole system acts just as if Internet Explorer does not exist at all. A link that specifically attempts to open in IE should be redirected to the correct browser, but Messenger stomps all over this setting.

I'd even be willing to put up with that except for one final insult: Messenger changes the Default Browser setting when I open Hotmail or a Spaces link, deliberately voiding my valid choice of what to do with my system and how it should work.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I'll probably use an alternate messaging client.
PPS - Then I'll probably lose access to the contact cards that tell me when a friend has opened up their own Spaces site.

Let Them Eat Cake

In every extended family or friend group there's a month or two that are unusually heavy on the birthdays. For me, that's July. Besides me, it includes Erin, Kym, Julie and my Dad. I've already had one cake - a lightsabre baked by Bridgit - and now I've brought a (non-lightsabre) cake to work, too. I signed on to do supper for Bible study tonight, too, just so I could bring another cake there. In a few weeks, just the mention of the word "cake" should be enough to make me gag.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This is not counting anyone else's birthday that might crop up at work.
PPS - And I'm not even hungry.

The Sunday Mok - Build-up to a Birthday

Last Sunday was standard as Sundays go: two church services plus City of Heroes. I realised I had one week to pull together any kind of birthday celebration and wondered what to do. That's actually about as far as I got.
Monday at work was all documentation, which went really slowly and did not interest me enough. Conversation with Jessica on the bus in the morning and afternoon has dried up, simply because there's not much more small talk to dwell on.
On Tuesday I was basically convinced that I'd finished with documenting Homer, the safety management application. I did some coding for a while to keep my interest up, too.
By Wednesday I was finished with my little side-project and started on a timeline visualiser for Homer that makes the current state and past events much clearer to users. It won't make it into the first release, though. I watched the disappointing State of Origin decider at Erin's, punctuated by bits of Coyote Ugly.
Thursday was a bit different at work, so I had fun. I was running tests on Homer in the morning, then bug-hunting in the afternoon, based on what I found out in the tests. I think it felt good mostly because I had something definite to do.
Friday I finished off the small bugs in Homer and started on the new features. In the evening, we took the youth group kids to play beach volleyball, and I was pleased to see that Debbie had arrived back from the US unexpectedly.
I spent Saturday morning watching The Simpsons, then played City of Heroes for a while. Dad and I went to look for a bookshelf for me, and found nothing suitable, then I went to see Bewitched with the gang. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, just because Nicole Kidman's character was so naively cute.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I want to find someone that cute.
PPS - Today I turn 26 years old.

Goth Zombies crash LARP event

The photos.
Things I did not know about the undead:
1. They smoke cigarettes.
2. They wear cowboy hats.
3. They eat at McDonald's (the McBRAINS is to die for).

Had I known about it in time and lived on the right part of the globe, I would definitely have been in on this. For those of you that don't bother or can't look at the photos, someone sent out a call for a crowd of people to dress up like zombies and attack a regular LARP meeting. The zombie horde was, apparently, pleased with the ensuing hilarity.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - LARP = "Live Action Role Playing".
PPS - That is, nerds getting fresh air and hitting each other with styrofoam.

The Origin Of Painful Defeat

Last night was an atrocious game of football. I only watch the State of Origin matches plus the AFL grand final (sometimes) so it's a bit disappointing for one of the four games I watch in the year to be such a solid routing as Queensland got last night. The one plus is that we scored a few points at the end, avoiding the total humiliation of a nil-score game and the subsequent traditional lap of the field with shorts around the ankles. I am aware, however, that certain girls present last night at Erin's would not have considered that last part a bad thing.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Laura's announcement of changing sides halfway through the game did not go down well.
PPS - We win together, we lose together. That's the rule.

The argument for downloading television programs

The mental argument in favour of downloading television programs draws the following parallel: if I watch on my television, I pay for electricity. I pay in watching time and am blind to the ads thanks to years of internet use. The program "downloads" to my television via an antenna which picks up signals that are beamed through the air at no cost to me.
If I watch on my computer, I pay for electricity. I pay in watching time and see no ads. The program downloads to my computer via a wire which connects me to signals that are bounced around the world at no cost to me.

The one difference between the two is this: in Australia I can see new episodes of my shows from the US a full six months ahead of the Australian broadcast schedule.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This is why television distributors are fighting a losing battle.
PPS - They need to re-think the whole situation.

Never-ending fall

Ever wonder what a rag doll might look like if it could fall forever through an infinite field of spheres? Wonder no more. Link via BoingBoing.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The internet was made for things like this.
PPS - Regardless of the original intent.

Takin' It Easy

As I walked past the neighbours' house this morning, I distinctly heard the resident teenage boy angrily yell the following at his mother:

Mum, I can't help it if I'm lazy!

Yeah, good luck with that one, Junior. As soon as you prove laziness is an unalterable psychological trait rather than a choice, there's a Nobel Prize waiting for you.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Probably two: literature and psychology.
PPS - Teenage boys say the darnedest things.

The Sunday Mok - Papa Smurf Returns Home

Last Sunday it suddenly dawned on me that, after the wedding I'll have four mour birthdays and an anniversary to remember each year. Now I may actually need to use a calendar.
On Monday I felt like Homer, our Workplace Health & Safety software, was about ready for initial testing by people other than me. Also, as the result of a last-minute decision, I saw War of the Worlds, which I thoroughly recommend. It is a bit scary, if you get scared by movies.
By Tuesday I seemed to be mostly over the cold I'd been struggling with for just over a week. Also, Dad returned home from Russia with The Beard and a large collection of authentic Russian matryoshka dolls.
I spent my Wednesday at work on documentation for Homer, and it felt slow and unproductive, probably just because I wasn't coding. I also went to FISH where we watched Mountain of Fire about the search for the true Mt Sinai. Interesting.
I spent most of Thursday hacking together a command-line tool to compare a database to the script that is meant to create it. It's useful for pointing out any changes that were made after the initial script creation. It felt better than documentation.
On Friday I had the rare experience of riding to and from work on the bus alone. It actually felt rather good, mostly because making conversation is sometimes painful, and sitting in silence trying to think of something to say is worse. So I was reading and listening to music on my Zen Micro. I also received - much quicker than I had anticipated - the Thermaltake speakers I ordered. It took about an hour to get them installed and working, and only fifteen minutes of that was the actual inserting and connecting part. The rest was re-enabling sound in my suddenly and mysteriously silent PC.
On Saturday, I felt really good. Unusually good, even. I think this was due to finally being well again, coupled with some good recharging alone time, plus the feeling of accomplishment from getting the speakers working. I went bowling after lunch and spent the rest of the day just playing games. A good day.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This is possibly a record number of outbound links from one post.
PPS - And the first time I've included a picture in a Sunday Mok.

Today's Force Lesson

You can build an empire based on fear, and this is from the Dark Side. Your empire will likely grow quickly to a maximum size that is based on the actual amount of destructive power you wield. Your empire's growth will slow when you have intimidated all the people within your reach, because more growth means intimidating more people, which becomes harder as time goes on.

You can also build an empire based on love or trust, which is from the Light Side. These empires grow more slowly, but expand to a much larger size, because your subjects will voluntarily spread the love on your behalf, reaching areas you would otherwise miss. This kind of empire will also last longer than a fear-based empire, since it is less likely to tear itself apart due to internal dissent.

The problems occur when a young Dark Side empire meets a young Light Side empire and crushes it out of spite.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The Force is not real.
PPS - It is, however, a very useful dichotomy framework for explaining certain things.

Zombie dogs will devour us all

Regardless of what you think of these actual, factual zombie dogs, you've got to admit that's a kind of scary picture to go along with the story. Link via Apropos of Something.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I can never resist a zombie story.
PPS - Though I almost forgot to post this one.

Must be something in the Russian air

I was greeted by two unusual sights in the house last night. The first was fifty-five Russian matryoshka dolls, comprising eight sets and a keyring, arranged on the lounge room floor. The other was my father with a three-week beard. In my entire lifetime I've seen him unshaven maybe two days and also one time when he grew a thin moustache for a costume party, so this sighting ranks up there with Tasmanian tigers for rarity. He tells me he has decided to keep it until early next month.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This is probably so people can see it before it's gone.
PPS - All the dolls are pre-claimed.

You are not very big at all

I have something to tell you about War of the Worlds: it's pretty freakin' awesome. To give you an idea, Batman Begins and War of the Worlds are currently tied for the most awesome movie I have seen this year, then a notch below that comes Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. This one will not play the same on DVD unless you have a sound system that can shake the room and a projector of your own, so go out and see it at the cinema.

The sense of barely-controlled panic (and often not controlled at all) and the characters not knowing what's going on comes across very well. Because this is Hollywood, we humans still have to do some damage ourselves, and so we do, but for the most part the humans are running and screaming. As long as you're prepared for an ending from the 1890s and to witness the near destruction of the world from ground-level, see this movie now.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I want an airhorn that sounds like that.
PPS - There are no bloopers at the end of the credits.

Snoozer

Because I'm an introvert, I need time to myself often, and I used to rely on my bus trips for that and any extra sleep I needed. Now I know a few people on the bus, so it's harder to doze or read or just stare. My chances of bumping into someone are close to 95%, I'd say, so even if Jessica, my usual travelling companion, is absent, I'm likely to run into Jayde, Danny or Katrina. I have nothing against any of them, and even enjoy the time. It's just when it stacks up that I can get antsy.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I have yet to deliberately read to avoid conversation with Jessica.
PPS - I probably won't do that, either.

The Sunday Mok - Low-key

Last Sunday I started getting sick. Head cold stuff - coughing, sneezing, blocked nose. Not much fun. I had breakfast at the local Coffee Club with my step-brother-to-be. Other than that, the two church services and sleep.
On Monday I dragged myself to work through the flu and generally felt awful all day. I watched some TV when I got home and then went to bed very early.
By Tuesday I had started taking cold & flu tablets, which made work and sleep easier, but still not exactly pleasant. I had to teach the karate class on Tuesday night, which I managed to do with a student assistant.
On Wednesday I had a review of Homer, the hazard management software I've been writing, and the several improvements suggested are still being worked into it. It would have been good to gather that feedback earlier rather than later.
Thursday, besides a standard day at work, I had to drop off class fees from the Tuesday karate class, then I had a youth group planning meeting. I would have liked to sleep and attempt a recovery from my flu instead.
On Friday at work, I used the lunchtime to try and finally sort out some issues we'd been having with one of the servers. Despite several attempts, I ended up just where I'd started. Low-key party at Erin's in the evening, followed by a discussion about God and life. It was cool, even though it meant missing more sleep.
I caught up on sleep on Saturday, played a bit of City of Heroes, did the house chores, slept some more, watched TV and went to Lachlan's birthday dinner. I expected a few more people to be there.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I'm still sniffling, coughing and sneezing.
PPS - Most of all I wish I could stop the coughing.

Super-Empaths

It seems fairly well accepted that Geek is somewhere on the autistic spectrum - about at the point where "neurotypical" shades into "autistic". Asperger theorised that the autistic spectrum stretched from the deeply affected at one end, through "eccentric normality" right up to everyone currently declared to be normal.

It can't be a new idea, but I think it could stretch further than that - out the other end and into a whole new range of diagnoses. At this end of the spectrum I'd expect to find unusually empathic people and those who read body language very easily. It would stretch all the way up to people who intuitively read your subtext and non-verbal cues so well that they appear to be practically psychic.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I am most definitely towards the Geek end.
PPS - I think so-called medium John Edwards is up the other end.

Patchwork

Part of my personality is that I love patchwork. Things that have been repaired have personality in a way that new things don't. One of the most satisfying forms of repair is to take the broken parts of two objects and make a new whole one out of them. My computer chair at home is a folding metal frame that has been repaired with the padded seat from a similar chair that lost its back. This is Good and Right in my book, since it is now, unmistakeably, My Chair.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Even my water bottle at work is the combined pieces of two other bottles.
PPS - A Sprite bottle and the pop-top from an OJ.

The Mighty Servant

There is power to be had in being a servant. Obviously the "come hither and lick my boots clean, thou vile knave" kind of power is reserved for the master side of things, so the servant's power is something else.

The servant has power to eliminate any joy their master may take in the servant's suffering. If a servant gladly goes to shovel horse manure out of a stable, then it's no fun to make them go, especially if your main motivation was to make them go against their will.

The servant has power, over many years, to dissolve the master's ability to take care of himself or herself. If the ability is gone, the desire may soon follow, and then the servant owns the master's life completely.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - You know, this made much more sense late last night.
PPS - I'm not sure where on the Force this kind of power resides - Light or Dark.

Pseudoephidrine

The way I feel this morning is the reason I usually take only a half dose of cold & flu meds when I'm sick. I've traded the familiar cold symptoms for the following:
- rapid heartbeat
- lightheadedness
- tingling fingers
- slight fever

I'll grant that the last one is probably just a greater awareness of the fever that existed before. For the afternoon dose, I'll go back to my usual single tablet instead of the recommended two. Despite these problems, I feel better now than I did yesterday.

Mokalus of Borg

PS -I'm keeping up with mega-doses of vitamin C.
PPS - I like to refer to vitamin C as ascorbic acid, just for the funny looks people give me.

Ineffectual gawking

There must be a set number of people in a crowd present to "help" that signifies another person can continue on their merry way without stopping. If I see someone who has, say, fallen off their bike, and there are already sixteen or so people standing around, and the situation is very clearly well under control, I don't think I'd be helping too much by stopping to stare.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - How many do you think? Twelve?
PPS - Of course there has to be someone clearly handling the situation.

The Sunday Mok - A week of Saturdays

Much like a month of Sundays, but shorter and with fewer church services. Last Sunday I sat next to Emma in the morning service, slept in the afternoon and ran the PC in the evening service. I was feeling a bit down.
On Monday I slept in, played City of Heroes, watched a little TV, slept some more in the afternoon and did a little reading. This was the routine for the week off. I started watching my Stargate season 1 DVDs, too.
The one deviation from the holiday routine on Tuesday was karate - the last class I get to attend for four weeks as a student. I have to teach the next four lessons.
On Wednesday I watched the State of Origin game 2 at Erin's with the gang, and nearly had a small black and white cat "follow" me home when it attempted to jump in the car with me.
Thursday's City of Heroes expedition ended up, via a series of unusual events, with me following a level 33 blaster and his sidekick while they killed thugs in Brickstown. This gave me about a third of the experience required to gain my next level. Sweet.
On Friday we took the youth group kids to Laserforce for a bit of blast-your-friends-with-guns fun. There were more of them than I expected.
Saturday, the real one, I filled with movies and games - Jedi Knight II, Batman Begins and Stuck On You. Batman was the better movie.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This Sunday Mok is late due to breakfast and church.
PPS - More the former than the latter.

Passive-Aggressive

Because I'm not great at socialising, I rarely hear about any informal social gatherings. The formal ones, with invites and RSVPs are usually no problem. My usual way to deal with an informal gathering that I catch on the wind is to stand around while it's being discussed, generally looking very invitable.

When this fails, I stay home, maliciously not being there just so people will notice and be horrified that they forgot to include me. It doesn't work. This time I want to just turn up anyway - make my own way there and my own way back, maliciously being present in an undeniable way that says "I will include myself even if you try to exclude me". This time, my plan is foiled by external forces. Next time, Gadget. Next time!

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Tripod are playing at the Powerhouse.
PPS - The show is closing tomorrow night, and is sold out.

Cosmic ray interference

I went to exchange my Stargate: SG-1 season 2 DVDs today, because episode 7 refused to play both in my set-top player and my PC. To my satisfaction, I had verified that I had a faulty disc. Because I had no receipt (which is very strange - I even still have a receipt for a packet of Tic-Tacs I bought late one night to get change for bus fare) they had to check the disc to make sure I wasn't telling big porky-pies. Guess whether it worked.

The opinion of the store manager was that the players I tried it in are incompatible, because they're too cheap. I really don't want to hear that. I should never have to worry that the DVDs I buy won't work in the DVD player that I buy. That's a given. It's so basic to the concept of home entertainment that it should never even have to be stated in the positive as a guarantee. It's what's supposed to happen, end of story.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - So I guess I'll have to invest in a higher-class DVD player.
PPS - If it doesn't work then, expect to read of a Hulk-like rampage through this town.

Rover brings you your email

Imagine a personal organiser that sat on your shoulder like a parrot and wirelessly communicated with your PC at home via its perch there, with your car and work PC and with other parrots via audio or wireless comms. It can interact with you via voice, so all you need to do is say "Polly, remember this address" and it can, for instance, record GPS coordinates and look up the nearest street address for future reference. We obviously need much more sophisticated AI for this to work, but it could be very interesting. I just like the idea of a world where people carry digital familiars with them everywhere, rather than impersonal PDAs.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Plus this is finally a decent use for those robot dogs.
PPS - As long as they can walk quickly and don't get into fights.

Censor me? Censor you!

China has, for a while now, had a policy of censoring internet content at the major data inroads to the country, in order to "protect" the populace from outside propaganda and influences (the internal stuff is okay). What if we started refusing to serve to China? Would the government collapse under the burden of faking external traffic, too? Would the populace rebel, demanding the net services they desire? Would the whole country just collapse into an information dark age, rendering both sides of the face-off irrelevant? I guess there's only one way to find out.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Recently they have demanded that website owners register with them.
PPS - It's unclear whether this edict is meant to extend to the whole world or just China.

Messing with the routine

That's just the way, isn't it? Sleep in, feed the cat, have breakfast and a shower, check email and web comics, start playing City of Heroes, completely forget to blog. See, I've made it part of my workday routine - arrive at the office, blog, then clock on. Since I'm a routine-oriented person, my memory gets jolted out of position when the routine changes.

Maybe that's why my memory seems to be so good: I don't have to constantly remember those little bits and pieces like whether I've got to go shopping today or whatever. It's all in the routine that my muscles know and my conscious mind can forget, thereby freeing it for important things like The Simpsons.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Also, if you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
PPS - At least, you don't have to remember which lies you told which people.

The greatest thing before sliced bread

Sleeping in is significantly awesome. Since my body is long trained to wake at 06:00, however, this morning's sleep-in had to occur in three stages. I'm fine with that, but the cat expects breakfast rather early. She's quiet about it until you get downstairs with the food, when there's a "gentle" reminder that tomorrow you'd better be an hour earlier.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This week will be one of my favourites in recent memory.
PPS - I'll probably even go back to bed in the afternoon.

The Sunday Mok - The preacher said "zombie"

Seriously, last Sunday, zombies were a brief topic of discussion in the sermon in the morning church service. It just about made my day. I went to an extra karate class in the afternoon to polish up my kata.
On Monday I had more work to do on a timesheet transfer procedure for one of our clients. I thought I'd finished it on Friday. Bible study in the evening mostly discussed the books of Esther and Jonah. I think the end of Jonah could work well on stage.
There was still more timesheet work to do on Tuesday, or so we thought, but it turned out that the problem was after our part, so then all I had to do was round the corners off and schedule the task automatically.
Wednesday I finally had time to get back to the hazard management and reporting database - "Homer". I put pie and bar charts on the reports because it made it easier to visualise the information. I played City of Heroes for a bit and felt really rotten after dinner.
On Thursday, more work on Homer: sending email notifications. I also applied for a week off work, for the sake of my sanity. I did the grocery shopping and watched television I'd recorded.
By Friday I was really looking forward to the week off. I worked a couple of features into Homer, then spent most of my time trying to copy a current staff database for general use. Since it's coming out of Lotus Notes, that's not as easy as it sounds.
I had a lazy Saturday, sleeping in, playing games, watching just a little TV, then to Bridgit's for a Star Wars "marathon" that ended after Attack of the Clones, so it was more of a sprint.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Today I wore my Zombie Peanut Butter shirt to church.
PPS - And it raised a few comments.

I hate meeces to pieces

There is something inherently wrong with our computers. Specifically, there is something wrong with our interface devices, and my particular gripe is with the mouse. Look at your mouse cursor. Think about it for a minute and tell me if you notice something that limits your interactions.

If you had just a stick with which you could manipulate real-world objects, that would be the equivalent of the mouse outside the screen. You can swish it from place to place or poke things with it. I've got ten fingers, and a lifetime experience using them in subtle ways. Why don't we have an interface that makes use of this? Our reliance on obsolete input peripherals is one of the major hurdles to overcome for a true next-generation computer.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I've started philosophising, theorising and dreaming again.
PPS - I usually waver between optimism and despair on the future of PCs.

Reverse Psychology

Go back in time and ask me a few weeks ago if you could gain cash by putting out an empty container that says "Free money! Please take some". I dare you. A little while ago I dropped five cents in the tray to see how long it would last. It's still there. So is the other five cents I put in a few days later. So, too, is another ten cents that I had nothing to do with. Yes, in just a few short weeks, I have doubled the value of my investment!

Extrapolating from these results (and provided I can find a large enough dish) I should be able to retire early next year and buy three Hawaiian islands if I just leave all my worldly possessions out in the open, free for anyone.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Even though it's my tray, I'd feel bad about taking the ten cents out.
PPS - This will all end in tears. Mark my words.

A regular and predictable surprise

I hate alarm clocks. This is normal - I doubt you would find many people in the world who can honestly say "You know what I really like? Alarm clocks." The reason I don't like my alarm clock is that it manages to surprise me every single morning when it goes off. I set it the night before and expect it to go off and wake me up. That's our agreement. Yet, in my half-asleep state when the noise starts up, I always manage to think "What the hell is that?"

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I take longer to emerge from half-asleep as the week goes on.
PPS - I sleep nearly twice as much on weekends, with no alarms.

Inconceivable!

It is simply not possible that I am this late to work and still the first one here. I expect everyone to jump out from secret hiding places at any moment yelling "gotcha!".

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Or perhaps "surprise!".
PPS - Stupid busses.

Horde of the Flies

At our house we are currently in the middle of a fly invasion. It seems every time I turn around there's another fly smacking brainlessly into windows and walls, and I know they're different ones because I kill them. I know they're breeding somewhere in the house, but the location of this fly factory is a closely guarded secret that I have not yet been able to determine by interrogating prisoners.

My preferred method of disposal is to capture the fly in a jar, freeze it, then throw it out, which avoids the use of sprays and also the residual mess related to swatting. This method has been rather successful so far, but I've come close to running out of jars once or twice.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I guess it's extra servings of jam on toast for every meal, then.
PPS - I should get a preventative pest sprayer in.

The Sunday Mok - The present-tense verb form of "bachelor"

Last Sunday evening's service was led by Contagious - five members of the congregation who've been practicing as a band for some time now. It was the first time I'd heard them and I thought they did rather well. We went bowling afterwards and I had an average game followed by a below-average one.
I spent Monday working on workplace health + safety database "Homer" and I'm a bit unhappy with the user interface. I spent the afternoon trying different things and none of them seemed suitable. Bible study in the evening.
On Tuesday evening I just watched TV and transferred some music to my Zen Micro, as well as doing my reading for bible study.
More TV on Wednesday. It's disgusting to spend this much time passively watching something, I know. I also kept working on re-stitching my Jedi robe, just because I feel like I need to finish it.
Thursday at work I pushed ahead on statistical summaries for Homer. In the evening I installed and played a Lego Star Wars demo. I kept missing obvious solutions to problems, but I expect I'd get a handle on the level design eventually.
On Friday I finished off a short-term task to export timesheet details for a specific project. We tend to get these things at the last moment. For better or worse, we often manage to pull it off. Roller skating with the youth group kids in the evening, and I was, naturally, a little unsteady on my feet at times. Dad set off to Russia some time in the afternoon.
Saturday I tried to sleep in and woke at 07:00 out of habit. I wandered down to the shops to pay my credit card bill and pick up some things, then talked to Katie at the book shop for a while. Back home I dozed through Star Wars: A New Hope then watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Okay, so a really boring week for the most part.
PPS - They can't all be winners.

Quote of the week

I'm torn between these two quotes as candidates for Quote of the Week:

"It's a retarded show and you're retarded for watching it."

My brother Ug the Caveman intelligently critiquing my choice of entertainment.

"Does this look like a wall?"

The trainee shelf-stacker at the supermarket asking customers for an opinion of his toilet paper stacking.

So this is human contact, eh?

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I'll let you vote on which one you think is better.
PPS - Or you can provide your own or just read and leave.

Pac Manhattan

I can't decide whether this is cool or nuts. These people play Pac-Man. Since that's far too easy in general, they run around the streets of Manhattan in communication via phone with "controllers". Five people on the streets (Pac-Man, Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde) run the maze while five others keep the software side of things updated.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The images on the site aren't working for me here.
PPS - I'll check again at home, I suppose.

Outbound Links Day

I've been reading Girls Are Pretty for some time now, and I think it's about time I recommended it to other people. I was directed there by Overcompensating and followed the link because "girls are pretty" is a sentiment I feel comfortable in echoing. There's a random story written in the second person every day, and they're often quite odd and entertaining, from those that are delightfully short on detail (Find George And Take Him Out Now) to those that go into quite significant detail (She Likes To Play Tricks On People). Check it out.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - It almost makes you feel like you have your own exciting life!
PPS - Happy Girls Are Pretty Day!

Reintroducing the human factor

It was not too long ago that most bus tickets were disposable magnetic strip cards, read by the appropriate hardware. The various rules about expiry dates and valid times were enforced automatically by The Machines, issuing their judgements by sequences of beeps.

Now many tickets are just receipts, printed in the same way as everything else. It takes a little longer to get on the bus, but now we have some human fallibility back in the system. If you catch a driver early enough in the day, it's sometimes possible to pass off an expired ticket, walking confidently onto the bus as the driver blearily waves you by. This is the kind of system that can allow real experimentation.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I have personally managed to get on a bus with an expired ticket.
PPS - I have yet to try a shopping docket or Subway serviette.

Steppin'

In a few months, I'm going to have to get used to terms like "step-mother", "step-sister" and "step-brother". How far exactly does the step-relative terminology extend? Am I gaining a step-grandmother? When my step-sister has children with my step-brother-in-law, do I get step-neices and step-nephews? Are the children of my step-mother-to-be's brother my step-cousins? These are among the many questions I'll need to answer.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - For those who tuned in late, my father is re-marrying later this year.
PPS - Um ... that is all.

The Sunday Mok - "Hold this so he doesn't run away"

Last Sunday was standard as far as Sundays go. Coffee Club instead of bowling after the evening church service. Though I say that, we haven't been bowling in a few weeks now.
On Monday my desk was moved back to its old position, which made the other move completely pointless. I worked on the staff appraisals database and also on tracking down a memory module for the Controls guys.
Tuesday at karate in the evening Mark and Deb had brought some kick pads and a punching bag for a change. I was surprised by the amount of power I could get out of my kicks, because it's just not obvious when you're kicking air.
Wednesday was Towel Day and I missed it. Troubles with the computers at work and home. Queensland won the State of Origin first game, so that (mostly) made up for a missed Towel Day.
On Thursday I spent most of my time on Venture (project management software) and Homer (safety management software). We finally met our new fearless leader, David, whom we had begun to think might not have been real. Dinner at a South-side Thai restaurant with the relatives.
Most of Friday I spent on Homer. The code itself is uncomplicated - what will take up the most time is getting everyone sorted out so they can log in easily. What makes it difficult is what's going to happen in a few months to our office login system, and we have to be ready for that.
I bought an MP3 player on Saturday - a Creative ZEN Micro - and it's pretty cool. I also went to see The Taming of the Shrew at Harvest Rain because the ticket was free and a friend was in the play. Also went to dinner at West End for Adam's birthday.

If you're on the North side of Brisbane and it's not too late to change your plans for tonight, come to The Gap Uniting Church to see Contagious.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - It'll be great.
PPS - Belly-dancing is not my calling.

The Spanish zombie says...

"Brains" is a pretty simple word in English. I imagine even zombies that are somewhat lacking in verbal skill could manage it. If a zombie spoke another language in life, however, things could easily get more complicated. "Cerebros" and "cervelli" - Spanish and Italian respectively - are considerably more complicated. The German "gehirne" has to be my favourite so far, and this morning I discovered the Welsh word "ymenyddiau". I can't really imagine being stalked by a pack of zombies in Wales all saying crying out for my "ymenyddiau". It just doesn't fit.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Besides which, I probably wouldn't recognise the word at the time.
PPS - I couldn't find a Klingon word for brains.

Happy (Belated) Towel Day!

I missed Towel Day again - the memorial day for Douglas Adams, celebrated by fans who carry their towels around all day in memory of our favourite author. I've missed every one since 2001 when Mr Adams died, and not on purpose - that would just be mean, and I am rarely (deliberately) mean. This year I even set a reminder on my phone so I couldn't possibly forget. Every now and then something that can't possibly go wrong does go wrong. The reminder slipped and I trotted off to work as if yesterday was a day just like any other.

Then again, anyone who's seen it will know that I have a towel that I carry in my work bag every single day, inspired by the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so in a way, I didn't miss Towel Day at all. I'd just rather have remembered properly.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - On an unrelated note, it's a good day to be a Queenslander.
PPS - I also forgot to wear my maroon shirt yesterday.

Today's post is brought to you by...

Suspicious Fires Incorporated. Have you recently purchased a block of land for development, then found that the existing building on the site is heritage-listed and can't be legally torn down? You need Suspicious Fires Incorporated. Our "operatives" will show up one night and burn the place to the ground for a nominal fee. Specify "no accelerants"[1] to avoid the phrase "police are treating the blaze as suspicious" in news reports.

[1] The "no accelerants" service is available at our inspector's discretion. A surcharge applies.

This post is satire. Suspicious Fires Incorporated is another of my little jokes. A few times over the years, this exact thing has happened to buildings in Brisbane, and it's got to be more than a coincidence. Mere days after a land developer discovers the heritage status of an existing structure, the thing "mysteriously" burns to ashes. It's only logical to assume a shady organisation is behind it.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The joke, of course, is that these people could not incorporate.
PPS - And they probably wouldn't get much business with this name anyway.

Take a penny, leave a penny

Following the suggestion from yesterday, I have placed a single 5c coin in the "free money" container. It would hardly be worth anyone's time to take it, so I predict it will remain for the whole day.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - If it lasts a week, I'll add to it.
PPS - This could, however, turn into an expensive experiment very quickly.

Is this funny?

I have an odd sense of humour. Every now and then I'm the only one laughing. Recently I put a small plastic container on top of a nearby bookshelf at work and wrote on it: "FREE MONEY! Please take some". It started empty and, of course, is still empty. Is that funny? Sometimes I can't tell.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I was partly inspired by people who steal from charity.
PPS - It has not yet raised a comment.

The Sunday Mok - 22 May 2005

Last Sunday I watched TV, slept and finished my Bible study work for the week. I went to the Ashgrove evening church service rather than the combined Pentecost service, partly to promote the service being put on by new band Contagious, now one week away.
Most of Monday at work was unproductive: I had to install some new software, which took all morning, then I had training in the afternoon. Bible study in the evening and more TV.
Tuesday at work I went to a presentation about computer-simulated physics for engineering applications. A sandwich lunch was provided, and I ate probably three times as much as I would usually eat for lunch, then nodded off during the presentation. For this reason, I think it would be better to serve the lunch after presentations.
Wednesday's big event was, obviously, the Revenge of the Sith midnight screening. The robe of my costume was only finished (by Bridgit - thankyou!) after we got inside the cinema. Most people were upset by the number of trailers and ads played before the movie. I got home around 3am.
I slept in until 09:00 on Thursday, went through the usual morning routine and missed the bus by one minute. In the afternoon, when I got to the bus stop, a hailstorm started, but let up by the time I got home, so I didn't need an umbrella at all.
Friday Dad announced he's re-marrying. He told us by saying "You might like to know: [Beth] and I picked up an engagement ring tonight. So ... I guess we're officially engaged." He's a funny one sometimes. We took the youth group kids to play pool at QMasters. Matt is an absolute star at that game.
I went for a run on Saturday morning with my 1kg weights and just kept to a maintainable pace. I watched Starship Troopers 2, which is basically a sci-fi slasher flick. Went to Miv's for dinner and saw Star Wars again with him, Julia, Rory, Julie, Rich, Lyd and Adam.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I only picked up a couple of things in the second screening that I missed in the first.
PPS - I found I kept focusing on the costumes most of the time.

I've just been playing with Picasa, so now I give you: Holiday snaps from Paragon City.

Musical desks

Yesterday my desk was moved about five metres across an aisle. Now it's going to be moved back because of an oversight. The whole story goes that half of the ground floor downstairs is being refitted at the moment, so those sitting there have moved into other positions around the office. Those that are supposed to move in right beside us are from upstairs where they have perfectly good spots. I don't know where this edict has issued from.
I'm not certain all of this will work out fine, because the end plan seems to involve two occupied desks magically disappearing. One is ours and is loaded with servers, PCs and test equipment. The current word is "find some place for it".

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Perhaps we can get it upstairs where these new people are moving from.
PPS - I'm worried by how much time our management is personally spending on this.

I want a lizard like that

I caught a midnight screening of Revenge of the Sith last night, and was suitably impressed. There was still that undefinable something missing, however. The lightsabre duels were excellent - I'm really glad George doesn't use slow motion in Star Wars movies. The Trade Federation accents were further toned down to something quite cartoonish and stupid. Some parts dragged (cityscape panoramas, for instance) and others felt like they deserved more treatment.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Overall it was a positive experience.
PPS - It's just too bad you already know who's going to survive.

Horrifying thought

I just thought of something: I finished a conversation with Stu about going in costume to Star Wars tonight, completely forgetting that my only transport is by bus, followed by a five or ten minute walk. It's fine to be in costume when you get where you're going, but the trip there is a killer.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Semi-relevant "travelling in costume" comic strip.
PPS - I may need my extra-large coat.

You must be patient, young padawan

I had hoped to grow enough hair by now to wear a Jedi training braid (behind the right ear) to the Star Wars premiere tonight. Unfortunately, an attempt to do so would only result in an invisible strand that's hardly worth the effort.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I also never completed my lightsabre and Jedi robe.
PPS - If by "completed" I mean "started".

The Petition to Get Mokalus to Shut Up About Big Brother Altready

Just in case you're sick of it already, or feel you're likely to get sick of it sometime in the future, I thought I'd provide an opportunity for you to voice your dissent at the amount of Big Brother talk on this site.

"We the undersigned, etc, blah blah, shut the hell up about BB." Just leave a comment to force me to find other things to write about.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I promise I won't start watching Survivor.
PPS - Though that would hardly last long now.

When Twins Attack

It seems my prediction about the BB Logan twin switch was off by a few days - the twins have been discovered. It makes sense, though. The fake tattoo started to fade, as did the fake tan, and the whole situation was definitely not helped by Logan (David) going through one of the glass mirrors and injuring himself. Glenn, who spent the most time with Logan, was the first to notice.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Gianna is likely to be the most affected by the news.
PPS - She and Logan (David) were getting cosy.

Malicious Mouse

I think the moment from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie that will stay with me the longest is the sight of a tiny mouse yelling "TAKE HIS BRAIN!". Yeah, the more I think about it, the more likely it is that it will fulfil my nightmare quota for a few years.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Though last night I dreamed about a road trip in vans.
PPS - We pulled over to fill up and spilled petrol everywhere.

The Sunday Mok - An Unhealthy Obsession

Big Brother is already taking over my life. This is not so good.
Last Sunday I had a busy day - two church services, lunch with friends, bowling and the BB launch. I didn't watch all of the launch, because of the video/audio sync problems I was having. I was up until 00:30, though...
...so on Monday I was tired. I made a release of A+ for HR and had to mess around with the database connection a bit, and watched BB at night. To keep things simple, just assume that I'm watching BB every night.
On Tuesday I was back to working on Venture. I should really put up a screenshot or something so everyone knows more what I'm talking about. We sparred again at karate, and I felt like I got back into the groove of it - a proper guard and relaxed, waiting to move faster than my opponent.
Though I spent Wednesday bug-hunting in the Venture code, I felt it was a bit pointless, since we're working on a new interface that will probably make lots of the previous work obsolete.
On Thursday I was still sore from the workout at karate on Tuesday, which is something that doesn't happen often there. I played my first City of Heroes PvP Arena match, and got thoroughly whooped, since I was a level 14 character fighting against a level 25. Besides practice, there seems to be little incentive to do that again.
On Friday, after installing some (apparently) dodgy TV software, I had to use Windows System Restore to get my sound working again, just in time to record BB for the night. At youth group, we played dodgeball (among other things) but had only deflated basketballs to use.
Saturday I went and bought four "practice volleyballs" that are so soft you'd have trouble breaking eggs with them. These will be used instead of basketballs for dodgeball matches in future. I also went out with Miv, Julia, Kym, Lydia, Rich and Adam and met Tania and Tara. Just missing the last bus home meant approximately 45 minutes in a taxi queue. I hardly noticed.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - That bus was at 00:20.
PPS - We need more, especially on Fridays and Saturdays.

Go Directly To Hell

Michael Miller, 47, was arrested today in his Bundaberg home, charged with impersonating God. Police say Miller had been conducting worship services from his garage, suckering faithful locals into believing that he was The Almighty.

"I can't believe it," said one worshipper who wished to remain anonymous. "He seemed like the real deal. There was smoke and bright lights and harp music and everything."

Police were tipped off when one worshipper grew suspicious of Miller's demands for offerings of pretzels and beer. The final clue was a request for a copy of Hustler magazine. "I just knew God wouldn't be into that," said the tipster.

The maximum penalty for deity impersonation is eternal damnation, though the state has never handed down such a sentence. God Himself has made no statement on the incident.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This story is, of course, completely false.
PPS - Fictional news is fun.

Imagine a post here

This morning's post has been eaten by the Blogger Beast. The text is gone and only its ragged flesh on a skeleton remains. You'll just have to entertain yourselves today.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - It was about my TV card software.
PPS - I guess it wasn't that interesting.

Logan's Fun

BB'05 introduced a pair of twins playing an amalgamation of their personalities as someone called "Logan" (which is their middle name). Every now and then, Big Brother calls a switch and the twins have four minutes to change clothes and swap information. The other housemates aren't aware of the situation ... yet.

There are several factors nudging their chances either way for noticing or not. Some of the most significant, in my opinion, are the following:
+ No set of twins is absolutely identical.
+ They won't have perfect information, so slip-ups will occur.
+ The twins can't keep it up forever.
+ The switches may eventually become suspicious.
- None of the housemates know "Logan" very well yet.
- They are unaware that anything is going on at all, so they're not looking.
- People are incredibly self-involved.
- There are some other distractions in the house to divert attention away...
+ But not that many

I'm betting it takes at least one and a half weeks for anyone to notice.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I remember it took me about a month to start being able to distinguish between twins I know.
PPS - Two months was probably when I could do it reliably.

I'm officially jealous

In the US, Land of The Dead is premiering a full six months earlier than here in Australia. A new zombie movie from the king of zombies himself, George A. Romero, and I have to wait six sodding months after it's first release to see it legitimately at all, let alone on a big screen.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Bronny, you see this?
PPS - I may need you to bring me back a DVD.

Big Bother (sic)

Have you ever tried to watch television with the audio lagging a full 90 seconds behind the video? It's nearly unwatchable. This is what has happened on my PC recording of the Big Brother launch. The sound keeps skipping ahead, trying to catch up with the video which is, unfortunately, also skipping ahead every few seconds, maintaining the gap. I've watched the first hour now (up until about eight housemates had entered the waiting room) and then stopped. This was partly due to the audio/video sync problem and also because by then it was 00:30 this morning.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I warned you it would take over my life.
PPS - It's already started.

The Sunday Mok - A funny mood

Last Sunday I went to the Uniting church for both services, because of the skit I mentioned last week. I spent the afternoon playing City of Heroes. At bowling after the evening service, we had twenty people, so we took up four lanes - our biggest group yet.
I spent most of the Monday holiday sleeping, trying to catch up on what I must have missed somewhere. I think I need some proper time off work. Bible study and more City of Heroes in the evening.
Tuesday at karate, we sparred for the first time in months, and I'd gotten decidedly rusty. Sensei Mark asked me to give blue-belted Alex a workout and I just wasn't up to it. He competes in tournaments, though, so I already know he's good.
On Wednesday I was hunting bugs in Venture, our project management website. We've just installed a proper bug-tracking program, which works well. Played CoH for a while and also watched some stand-up comedy videos on ComedyCentral.com.
Thursday was more Venture bug-hunting, interrupted by various PC issues at work. City of Heroes Feature Update 4 went live, too. I have yet to try any player-vs-player battles.
Friday I showed our HR head the staff appraisals database I'd been working on. She liked most of it, but the reports needed lots of work, so I came away with a TODO list of about twelve items. I got eleven and a half done before I left for the day. I also saw HHG2G again.
For most of Saturday I was in an odd mood, like I was tired but didn't want to go to sleep. I went to a barbeque lunch, and I wanted to hang around and sleep afterwards. I don't know how best to explain it. The closest I'm able to get is that I wanted to go to sleep in company.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I'm still sleepy now.
PPS - I'll probably take next week off work.

The strong, silent type

I'm not exactly the go-to guy for conversation. This morning I spoke not a word to my travelling acquaintance, preferring to work out a formula for the surface area of a torus in my head.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I only got halfway done.
PPS - I couldn't carry a conversation if it had handles.

A violation of bus etiquette

There are a few rules that govern polite behaviour on buses. One of them relates to seats that are three berths wide. Normally the first individual will take one end, and a second person may take the other end. The seat is now full, despite the fact that there is a third position still technically available. This is the normal procedure for operating such a seat. This morning a passenger (not me) sat between two gentlemen who were already occupying that seat in the accepted manner. Though no verbal complaint was made, the two original occupants were obviously distressed at the newcomer's lack of consideration for bus etiquette.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Part of the reason for this rule is the smallish size of the three-wide seats.
PPS - Taking the middle position first is also a definite no-no.

Where do you want to go today?

[blink, rub eyes]
...
Okay, Microsoft is working with Ford on a car that can't crash? Forgive me if I am under-enthusiastic about the possibilities.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Link via Slashdot.
PPS - I barely trust Microsoft with my data.

The Least-Aggressive Bus Driver Award

I have met a variety of bus drivers over the years, and this morning was one of those who took a very peaceful attitude towards the road and the schedule. We were stuck behind two other busses, each making more stops than us, so the sensible thing to do would be to go around them. It took a while to find a break in traffic, so naturally there was a long period of waiting. When we finally managed to pull out into the second lane, around the first bus, our driver chose to change immediately back into the bus lane, rather than continue around the second bus that was stopped a few hundred metres down the road. A few more minutes of waiting for a traffic break ensued.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This enraged my fellow passengers somewhat.
PPS - There was, however, no cheering when we finally got moving properly.

Free Chocolate (if you're evil)!

Last week I brought a fundraising box of chocolates to work and left them in the kitchen with a sign and a coin receptacle. $1 each. You would not think this is a difficult concept to grasp, especially for adults, and especially for engineers, known for mathematical ability. I came up nearly three dollars short when the cash was counted afterwards. There are several scenarios that are plausible explanations:
1. People counted their change incorrectly.
2. People believed the sign was just a suggested donation price.
3. People did not read the sign at all, and just took what they wanted.
4. People put in what they had and intended to pay the rest later, but forgot.
5. People deliberately underpaid, relying on others to make up the difference.
Or, the most evil of all:
6. People steal from charity.

Now that is a totally foreign mindset to me. Who would steal from a fundraiser just because nobody's looking? I'm honestly baffled.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I have another box this week.
PPS - I may be locking it up overnight.

Over-emotional

I feel like something's wrong somehow. Stress, anxiety, tiredness or something else maybe. Whatever it is, I'm probably not in much of a state to make an accurate self-diagnosis, so even my speculations would be suspect. My best guess so far is that I've been under-socialised lately - creating a distance between me and the world. The walls are coming back up.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I probably just need more sleep, though.
PPS - It's worth a shot.

The Sunday Mok - Suits

Last Sunday I wore my $3 pinstripe suit to church, because I felt like it. Afterwards, it might have inhibited my bowling game slightly.
Monday I had a barbeque lunch, played City of Heroes, went to bible study and slept a bit during the day. I did nothing very ANZAC-y at all, unless you count the fact that I set a goal not to kill anyone in senseless violence and stood by it.
Tuesday I managed to get into work on an expired bus ticket. The drivers are never too alert early in the morning. I probably could have shown him a shopping docket. I worked on Venture at the office and bumped into a high school acquaintance, Bhavishna, during karate.
On Wednesday I was finishing off "A+", our staff appraisals database system. I also finally received my hoodie from wigu.com: I Am Made Of Poison.
I spent Thursday rounding off the edges of A+, getting it ready for release. I dropped in at church to pick up a script for Sunday, then played The Sims 2 until sleepy-time.
Friday I worked some of the bugs and annoyances out of Venture and also set up an automatic nightly build process, so we'll always have the most recent version available for debugging or demos.
Saturday five of us went to Shelley's 21st dressed as some anonymous Secret Service operatives, protecting Mr Present. So that was another suit day. Also, me and my towel checked out The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Two words: Mostly Different.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The script I picked up on Thursday demands that I wear a suit again today.
PPS - Either this becomes my new thing or I get sick of it very soon.

The Useless Nonfiction Section

I am building up a very small collection of completely useless nonfictional books. Perhaps a better term is "farcical reference". Currently that part of my bookshelf contains:
A dinosaur field-spotter's guide
A Klingon-English dictionary
The Zombie Survival Guide

I have yet to obtain a copy of the travel guide to Molvania, a fictional Eastern-European country.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Suggestions for further additions are welcome.
PPS - Perhaps some alien anatomy textbooks would be good.

Electronics thought for the day

If we turn volume up and down, why does the bar on the TV go side-to-side?

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Most remote controls have the buttons vertically aligned, too.
PPS - There's probably a really good, simple reason.

Another Brilliant Idea from MokalusCorp!

People these days are so used to ignoring advertising that it's subconscious. Anything that even looks like an ad just makes our eyes slide right off it. It's wetware that's been built up over decades and now, thanks to the internet, it's a pretty darn solid part of our mental landscape.

I believe this effect of "ad-blindness" can, therefore, be used as a kind of camouflage. If I were to cover myself in enough advertising and advertising-like images, I should be able to stroll through an urban centre completely undetected! A field trial is yet to be conducted, but laboratory results have been promising.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Patent Pending.
PPS - This effect is closely related to the Somebody Else's Problem field, first described by Douglas Adams.

Freaking out

Being an impressionable young man who is slightly disconnected from reality can have serious consequences sometimes. Satire and fantasy are particularly dangerous. The Zombie Survival Guide starts its chapters with "genuine" accounts of zombie incidents, presented in a frank, straightforward, no-nonsense fashion. Knowing that the rest of the book was humour-oriented still left me in doubt about these stories. Were they genuine events that had been misinterpreted in some way? Clever hoaxes? Individual hallucinations? I couldn't be sure. What finally grabbed me was a mention of the "Lawson Film", an allegedly-genuine silent home movie of a zombie attack and fruitless escape attempt. I had to search for this artifact on the internet immediately, just to know one way or the other. I was extremely relieved to discover that all the pre-chapter stories in TZSG were entirely fictional.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Now I can sleep again.
PPS - But the door is staying braced.

First Class or Casket?

Heard on the radio this morning about a funeral company that's just introduced a new hearse to carry the mourning family as well as the casket. It's so you don't have to think about driving at such a stressful and emotional time. Twelve facing leather seats in a refitted minibus. The kicker is that it comes complete with a minibar and DVD player. I'm sure plenty of families have thought "Gee, what I need right now is to watch The Truman Show again."

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Word is the next model will be equipped with a PlayStation 2.
PPS - And wireless broadband internet.

Anthropological Studies

It has become customary recently for The Boys to go bowling after church on Sunday night. I've mentioned this before. Over the past couple of weeks, however, we've been joined by girls. Erin insists on treating it like an anthropological expedition, and has been emailing her "findings" around to the group the following day. She attributes us with simian qualities, negates any possible higher-brain functions, etc. It's quite good, very amusing, but at the same time somewhat insulting, so I put together this rebuttal and sent it around to all the same people:

The anthropological studies thus far undertaken by the below quoted researcher have been interesting, if somewhat misguided. She appears to be under the impression that her observations are objective and aloof. Her research assistant has proven incapable of observing without interfering in the bonding activities, though this is most likely due to the presence of her mate.

The researcher appeared to be attempting to blend in to her surroundings, participating in the bowling games with a style best described as "static". Clearly the game was a stressful situation, and engaging the males on their own territory put her on edge. While she managed admirably, it is probably for the best that she is unaware of the danger she placed herself in. If she had panicked at an inopportune time, the pack, smelling fear, could have attacked.

The researcher seems also to be unaware of the most basic elements of pack behaviour, offering not a single "high-five" during the entire course of the night. Butt-slapping was also noticeably absent though, once again, this is probably for the best. A poorly-executed butt-slap can result in the untimely and violent removal of a limb.

The researcher (and assistant plus mate) will be kept under observation, blissfully unaware of their participation in an intricate and ingenious social experiment, the extent of which could only be dimly perceived by them.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - This rebuttal followed the first week of Erin's actual participation.
PPS - She has not yet made a full reply.

The Sunday Mok - 24 April 2005

Last Sunday we went to lunch with some old family friends and I got to spend some time with Joanne, who's like my adopted cousin. I didn't want to leave when we did. Bowling at night, I barely managed to break 100 in each of two games.
Monday Jeff said he wanted me to do part of our presentation on Tuesday - the part about Cornerstone, our .NET software framework. I prefer to get more notice than that. I managed to play a little City of Heroes, something I've been unable to do recently. Ug's been hammering on FFXI a lot.
On Tuesday we did our presentation, and I had to do more in addition to talking about Cornerstone. That was definitely bad, because I only speak well in public with a script and had no time to prepare one.
Wednesday I started work on a new project: a database to keep track of staff appraisals, plus its web front end. After work I saw Assault on Precinct 13 and watched Battlestar Galactica when I got home.
On Thursday the appraisals database project was made official, I had the (very simple) database table structure ready and finished most of the data access layer. I did very little else that day.
By Friday I estimated that I was 75% done with the appraisals database. With Cornerstone, it's pretty much just turn-the-crank programming. Nothing too challenging. My books finally arrived from Amazon, including the Zombie Survival Guide, obviously essential reading in my world.
I spent most of Saturday watching television, which is not something I generally recommend. I did get out of the house in the afternoon, partly to look for American Idiot on DVD, because I noticed that the Holiday video leads directly into the Boulevard of Broken Dreams video, which follow in that order on the CD. I didn't find it.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I'm pretty sure it's not out yet.
PPS - It will be, though.

Elbow Etiquette

Over at Simplebits, there's a post about sharing armrests that I thought was interesting. However, my more common problem is how close I can sit to strangers on the bus. Too close and we're snuggling, too far and I fall off around sharp corners. Usually I manage to remain in place halfway on the seat by shifting down and jamming my knee into the seat in front. It's relatively safe and I don't have to worry about when the corners are coming up, so I can read. There is usually still a negotiation phase with my allotted seat-buddy.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The factors determining our sitting distance are usually gender, body mass and attractiveness.
PPS - Deciding their relative importance is left as an exercise for the reader.

Assault on Precinct 13

I caught Assault on Precinct 13 last night, thanks to a free ticket. Here's what I thought of the individual performances of the main cast:
Gabriel Byrne: Portrayed a very calculated villain.
Laurence Fishburne: I don't think Fishburne showed his range in this film. He didn't have that criminal touch - even scowling slightly most of the time would have made the difference.
Ethan Hawke: Performed pretty well. I got the impression that the role was not a major stretch for him. What that means is open to further interpretation.
John Leguizamo: Really quite good. I was impressed.
Maria Bello: Not a difficult role overall, and a decent performance.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The movie, overall, didn't suck quite as much as I expected.
PPS - There's not too much to bother with, though.

That was unexpected

Last night I cut myself with an old toothbrush. I didn't even know that was possible. Granted, I was using it in a slightly unorthodox way, cleaning under my fingernails. Still, it's not something you expect to happen. I imagine that, even if you've prepared for all kinds of situations, you'd forget to include "getting cut by a toothbrush".

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The brush has been locked up for its own protection.
PPS - My recovery is expected to be brief and easy.

Who's online?

Sometimes when I open MSN Messenger I wonder to myself "Who's online?". Immediately, without fail, a response comes to mind: "No, Who's on first. What's online."

Mokalus of Borg

PS - "I-Don't-Know's on AOL."
PPS - All of this makes no sense at all.

Dead on my feet

I've had hardly any rest since Friday morning, so now I'm shuffling around half-awake and hoping I can make it through a work day, because I don't think I can call in tired. Our work is not too stressful right now, so I think I can manage.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Perhaps a delivery from Amazon will energise me.
PPS - I'm currently awaiting two packages.

There's a reason it sank

Blogger be buggin' this mornin', yo. Fo' shizzle. I think that means something. Anyway...

I caught my first episode of Stargate: Atlantis last night, and while it's a bit interesting, I'm not sure how long it will be able to ensnare me in it's tentacles. The producers have clearly gone for the "minimise spending, maximise profit" business model. This forced the director to suggest that visually interesting things are happening off-screen rather than showing them. There was also a cringe-worthy scene between two characters outside clearly standing in front of a blue screen. I wasn't that impressed with the acting, either.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The story was okay, it just could have used better dialogue.
PPS - We'll see how it goes next week.

The Rules of Cool

I've come up with these general rules for being cool. Let me know what you think.

1. If you start out uncool, trying to become cool is powerfully uncool.
2. If you manage to become cool, you must never speak of your old,
uncool self again.
3. Cool is defined by the subculture.
4. Cool is being just like everyone else, but different enough that
you retain your identity.
5. For some subcultures, "just like us" is a very broad category indeed.
6. Cool is not your clothes. It's how you own them.
7. Faking it is not cool, unless it's a joke.
8. Uncool people cannot produce cool stuff. Someoone who produces cool
stuff is, therefore, cool by definition.
9. Being different can be cool, as long as you started out "cool like us".
10. Cool is always fresh - becoming something new all the time. Because of this, what was cool yesterday is not quite as cool today.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Feel free to suggest additions.
PPS - Remember rule 10 before you suggest a specific item of clothing.

It's all falling into place...

Darth Gerard's Plan^TM for the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith premiere is coming together. He now has the Gold Class cinema booked. Imagine my frustration when, just days ago, I agreed to book tickets with other friends instead of, say, bringing them along with me to Gold Class to finally meet the Dark Lord of the Office.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I should really have got a photo of Darth Gerard before he left.
PPS - One of the ones with his lightsabre would have worked well.

Cheque me out update

As it stood, my previous electronic cheque proposal required widespread changes to online businesses, presumably at great cost. Those changes that catch on most quickly require change only from one end and are backwards-compatible. Therefore, I'd propose that the banks issuing electronic cheques verify those charges through the same external interface by which they perform ordinary credit card transactions. That is, an electronic cheque for use online becomes a one-use, quick-expiry very-low-limit credit card, with its own valid number, but linked to its parent account.

Here's an example: I want to buy something from SlightlyDodgy.com, an online store that is not particularly reputable, but is the only place I can find the goods I want. I go to my bank website and log in to get access to my credit card account. Let's say, for argument's sake that it has a limit of $4000.00 - clearly more than I want to risk in dealing with SlightlyDodgy.com. I instruct the bank to fill out an electronic cheque for $50, the amount of my purchase, and it issues me with a temporary card number in my name and with an expiry date 2 months from now (since card expiry dates are by month and it might be right near the end of a month). I can now go to SlightlyDodgy.com and enter the temporary card details, knowing full well that they cannot take more than the purchase price and cannot hold my card details for later fraudulent use.

The disadvantage of this system is still the same as before - it's very slightly harder to use than just giving out full access to my $4000.00 credit card. It also means that banks will issue lots more credit card numbers than they currently do, but since they expire so quickly, they can be re-used now and then.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - It turns out that my original idea is not too original.
PPS - I think this is a resonable compromise.

The Great Nerd Drive of '05

Supanova. There are three kinds of people who stink: those who are covered in something smelly, those whose sweat naturally stinks, and those who smell bad because they simply do not wash. This third type is the kind you will meet at a pop culture convention. I carried deodorant and was sorely tempted to use it on more than one occasion, if only to mask the smell of these other people. Fortunately, not everyone was part of the mass of the unwashed - some were costumed instead.

The best reason to go to a convention is if you are a comic book or figurine collector. I am neither, so most of my time was spent wandering around pretending to be interested in such things. I did catch Ray Park talking about Star Wars and teaching some people to spin lightsabres, at least in theory. I also saw the first three episodes of Full Metal Alchemist, and I think I could get into anime, as long as it's about good stories. I'd definitely be interested in a Fullmetal Alchemist MMORPG.

It's good every now and then to remind yourself that there are people who are sadder than you. Seeing fourty-five-year-old men dressed as Spiderman, The Phantom and Batman really encouraged me that I am normal. The fact that I had no interest in the trading card games and could not identify most of the merchandise for sale lifted my spirits. I am, relatively speaking, grounded in reality and have normal interests.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - I'm bringing nose plugs for next year.
PPS - And possibly a Jedi robe.

The Sunday Mok - Concentrated Action

Last Sunday morning was the first time since the Easter play that I'd walked into church and seen the chairs moved back to their usual configuration. That was, somehow, a little sad for me. I caught a bus home, and I saw a bus that had collided with a ute just past my stop. I would have been on that bus if I'd left church a few minutes earlier.
Monday at work was just more of the daily routine. It's getting a little bit tedious, I suppose. I played City of Heroes in the evening and got to level 14 with my second character - she can fly properly now, rather than just hovering.
Tuesday I skipped karate to attend the final church fair meeting, which started rather early - 6pm. They ordered pizza and I couldn't recall hearing in advance that there would be food. More CoH in the evening.
I spent Wednesday mostly in design mode, so the amount of code I wrote was minimal. I'd like to hear concretely exactly what we want out of this Venture system. I felt stressed, and it's the kind of stress that doesn't go away just by relaxing.
Thursday was bits and pieces of everything. Work, phone calls, leaflet delivery (for the church fair) and signing up for Relay For Life.
Friday I knuckled down at work to get the broad strokes of Venture up and running, because we want it going by next week, even if it's basic. In the evening I went to Bronwyn's farewell party and got home about 02:30. It was good to see people again, since I'm way too slack to organise such a thing myself.
On Saturday I went to Supanova. The best bits were seeing Ray Park (AKA Darth Maul) and Fullmetal Alchemist, about to be released on DVD. I'll post a fuller report tomorrow.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Tired now.
PPS - Today promises to be as busy as yesterday.

It's gonna be a long weekend

And by "long" I don't mean that there's a public holiday on Monday, either. I mean I've got a party tonight, Supanova and another party on Saturday and two church services plus a lunch and training event on Sunday. I'll probably stumble into work on Monday still asleep.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - That's assuming I catch the right bus while asleep.
PPS - Maybe I should wake up for that part.

It looks easier on the ad

Every couple of months a responsible cat owner treats their pet for the various kinds of worms that can somehow invade their bodies. We previously used some chewy meat-flavoured tablets to treat for heartworm and let the vet handle the rest. The heartworm tablets were good. Our feline friend enjoyed them. She would appear and happily wolf it down, just barely remembering to chew.

Last time we went back to buy more, they were unavailable and we got some vials of poison that treat for fleas plus four kinds of worms. That is the only sense in which they are better. Now the cat can smell it coming, and she hates it. When we can find her, she turns into a spinning vortex of razor blades and it takes three of us to hold her still long enough to squeeze out the tiny drop of liquid onto her skin. She's not even that big and she usually manages to show all three of us the colour of our blood by the end.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - The vet assistant said these things were "better".
PPS - Maybe other cats are different.

An interpretation issue

I saw a brunette girl wearing a t-shirt that sported the slogan "Blondes do it Better" and I am at a loss how to interpret it. Is it self-deprecating humour? Can she not read? Is she in denial? Does she dye her hair? Better than what (or whom)? These mysteries and more, I suppose, will have to wait for another day.

Mokalus of Borg

PS - Your planet is a confusing place.
PPS - Er ... I mean our planet, obviously.